Soaring, running, walking . . . and standing

Here’s what new at HOPE & HUMOR . . .

Soaring, running, walking . . . and standing
I trust that wherever you find yourself today, you sense strength for the task—even if it’s simply standing.
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Hope for writers
Olin Miller claims, “Writing is the hardest way of earning a living, with the possible exception of wrestling alligators.” It is hard, but it is possible. Here are some resources to wrestle those alligators AKA editors, agents and publishers.
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Coincidences or ‘God-incidences’?
Throughout my life, the Lord has used God-incidences to have me meet the right people for marriage, employment, writing assignments, and other ministry opportunities.
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Are you listening to Goliath . . . or God?

Several deadlines have been demanding my attention, so haven’t kept up on WordPress. Here’s what’s new at Hope & Humor

Are you listening to Goliath or God? (01.27.10)

David had a choice in 1 Samuel 17. He could believe the promises of Goliath or God.

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Watkins’ Church Dictionary (01.22.10)

Bored Meeting: (No definition required!)

Church growth: Side effect of too many carry-in dinners

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Caskets and hope chests (01.18.10)

Many years ago, young girls kept “hope chests” where they would store dishes, towel, linens, etc. The wooden boxes were a source of hope and anticipation for their future homes.

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Top ten things I would do if I were God

Here’s what’s new for the week of January 11, 2010:

Top ten things I (Jim) would do if I were God (01.13.10)

I have in my right hand, direct from my home office—soon to be atop Mt. Sinai—today’s category:

10. I’d know who really shot JFK, if there really are aliens in Roswell and the identity of KFC’s “secret herbs and spices.”

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Hope for fulfilling the dream (01.15.10)

During the Birmingham civil rights demonstrations, Martin Luther King, Jr. required all protestors to sign a card promising to obey these “ten commandments”:

1. Meditate daily on the teachings and life of Jesus.

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In this world you will have trouble

“Trouble” seems to be life’s default setting: flat tires, kidney stones, IRS audits
. . . the list goes on and on. [more]

Ten top reasons 2010-2019 will be a better decade!

I have in my right hand, direct from my home office in Corn Borer, Indiana, today’s category:

10. Medical research reveals dark chocolate is good for your heart

9. Bernie Maddox and O.J. Simpson are behind bars

8. Rap music sales have dropped nearly 25 percent since 2005

7. The Mayans had it wrong about 2012

6. Laptop computer prices are decreasing, features increasing

5. JamesWatkins.com now contains 55 percent more hope and humor—and no trans fats!

4. Unemployment is decreasing, home sales increasing

3. Twenty-five years of New Age pop psychology ends September 2011

2. Dr. House is seeing a therapist

1. We’re one decade closer to Christ’s return

New posts every Monday, Wednesday and Friday here

Extreme makeover: jameswatkins.com edition

A whole new approach to jameswatkins.com is coming January 1. You can get a sneak peek (and provide constructive criticism) by clicking here.

The “Hope and Humor” format will feature encouraging articles, hopeful humor, inspiring quotations and helpful resources. New material will be posted every Monday, Wednesday and Friday beginning January 1.

Introducing The Twitter Bible

I was a bit skeptical when, in 1982, Reader’s Digest offered The Holy Bible as one of its condensed books. The Eight Commandments? The ten disciples? The Last Snack? (Actually, by cutting only repetitive texts, it trimmed the Old Testament by 55 percent and the New by 25 percent with nothing essential missing.)

I’m not sure, however, about the latest Scripture version: The Twitter Bible. This investigative humor columnist has obtained exclusive excerpts.

The Twitter Bible

Top ten reasons Santa not good role model

Christmas music is already playing at the mall, so I guess it’s time for my thirteenth annual Twelve Sites of Christmas. Here’s something brand new:

Top ten reasons Santa not good role model

I have in my right mitten, direct from my home office in Corn Borer, Indiana, today’s category: top ten reasons Santa Claus is not a good role model.

10. Breaks into homes in the middle of the night (trespassing, breaking and entering both felonies).

9. Morbidly obese from diet of cookies and milk.

8. Tolerates prejudice (reindeer call Rudolph names, won’t let him join in any reindeer games).

7. Shows preference toward children of rich parents over the poor in annual gift-giving spree.

6. Shows judgmental attitude by keeping list of “naughty and nice” children.

5. Exhibits conditional love by basing gifts on aforementioned list.

4. Smokes.

3. Investigators concerned about content of pipe as Santa is constantly “jolly” (see depiction above of St. Nick from original edition of A Visit from Saint Nicholas.)

2. Once arrested for punching out co-worker (click here for details).

1. Has author on his “naughty” list

Some thoughts on same-sex marriage

Tuesday, November 3, Maine will vote on a same-sex marriage proposal.

So, some thoughts:

Why is God so bent out of shape?

Why is marriage different from same-sex unions

Why I support civil unions

Your thoughts?

2012: end of the world?!

As you’ve probably heard, the world as we know it will be ending on December 21, 2012. That’s when the Mayan calendar ends—and the world with it—according to producers of the motion picture 2012 and the usual conspiracy theorists.

According to the Web site december212012.com, expect everything from super volcanoes, destructive sun spots, and the arrival of “Planet X” into our galaxy causing all kinds of astronomical disasters to the government requiring ID chip implants and the Catholic church admitting that, and I quote, “they have been misleading the church for hundreds of years.” (Fortunately, there is no mention of Sara Palin running for US president.)

The calendar in my office ends December 31, 2009, but I’m not worried since people have been predicting the end of the world since Noah! And except for that watery end, everyone else has been wrong in their gloom and doom.
For instance . . . [more]