The “dream” passed on!
Inside this week’s issue
Breaking news: Tuesday 3:30 pm
• Lois and I just received word that our $40,000+ hospital bill was forgiven! (This summer, she had an unexpected hysterectomy and I had radiation treatments for cancer.) “Thank you, Father!”
Heavy topics
• Hi, I’m Jim. I’m prejudiced
• Jesus on racial, gender, religious and social prejudices
• Top ten signs you might be prejudiced
• Life is a civil right
• Top ten things President Bush is doing on his last day in office
• Is President-elect Obama a Christian?
• Ala carte Christianity
• The weight adventure: week 2
• Twenty worst foods in America
Light touch
• HTML humor
• Mr. Manners on . . .
• “Writing with Humor” at Taylor University
• Best late-night lines of the week
Hi, I’m Jim. I’m prejudiced.
Like members of Alcholics Anonymous, we all need to be incredibly honest and announce, “Hi, I’m [fill in your name]. I’m prejudiced.”
Me? I’m prejudice against people who are prejudiced. I’m prejudiced against people who don’t view women as equals. And I’m prejudiced against Pepsi. (If I ask for a Diet Coke in a restaurant, no tip for you if you try to subsitute a Diet Pepsi!)
But the most intolerant people I’ve ever met are members of the PC police who, while claiming to be tolerant, are totally intolerant against anyone they view as not tolerant. (And, as I’ve written, intolerance is not always a bad thing.) The important thing is to be honest, admit there are areas in which we’re prejudiced, discern if they are good, bad or neutral, and then deal with them.
So . . .
• Jesus on racial, gender, religious and social prejudices
• Top ten signs you might be prejudice
• Life is a civil rights issue
Top ten things President Bush is doing on last day in office
10. Making last free long-distance calls on the hot line
9. Packing up new $492,798 china set (actually it stays with the House)
8. Filling out all those change of address cards
7. Making prank calls to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Kim Jong Il and Nancy Pelosi
6. Working on his “Funniest Bloopers” compilation (click for clip)
5. Packing up Iraqi shoe collection
4. Sicking Barney on reporters
3. Joy-riding in Air Force One
2. Having one last romp in Lincoln Bedroom
1. Leaving legacy at the curb
No matter what your political persuasion, you’ve got to feel some amount of compassion for a president whose name will forever be synonymous with the Iraq War, Hurricane Katrina and the economic recession. As The Onion reported the day after the election, “Black man gets worst job in America.”
So, my thoughts and prayers are with the human being who is probably having a tough day. I hate moving!
And my thoughts and prayers are with Barack Obama as he does assume the “worst job in America.” “Father, give him wisdom and courage to do what is pleasing to You.” Which brings us to . . .
Is President-elect Obama a Christian?
During the US presidential campaign, I ran excerpts from a 2004 interview in which, then Senate-candidate, Barack Obama discussed his faith. (Plus, I’ll throw in a freebie which was one of my top ten pages in 2008.)
• Are presidential candidates “Christian”?
• Were Founding Fathers Christian?
Ala carte Christianity
And, speaking of America’s faith, a new report from The Barna Group reveals “Americans are increasingly comfortable picking and choosing what they deem to be helpful and accurate theological views and have become comfortable discarding the rest of the teachings in the Bible.”
The survery of 1,004 adults reveals “people who consider themselves to be Christian now believe that the Bible is totally accurate in all of the lessons it teaches at the same time that they believe Jesus Christ sinned. Millions also contend that they will experience eternal salvation because they confessed their sins and accepted Christ as their savior, but also believe that a person can do enough good works to earn eternal salvation.”
According to the findings, Americans no longer accept the doctrines and beliefs of their church or denomination, but “serve as their own theologian-in-residence . . . embracing an unpredictable and contradictory body of beliefs.” And speaking of unhealthy eating . . .
The weight adventure: week 2
Inspired by The Biggest Loser, my daughter and I are competing with a group of Facebook friends to shed some weight, so to be accountable, I’ll be posting my pounds lost each week. This week—sound of scale beeping, dramatic pause—two pounds! (That despite a weekend getaway to Essenhaus!)
Twenty worst foods in America
A great list of the best and worst entrees at restaurants. For instance, Blimpie’s Veggie Supreme (12″) packs on 1,106 calories, 56 g fat (33 g saturated fat), 2,831 mg sodium and 96 g carbohydrates! You’d be better off eating two Big Macs.
• Eat this, not this
HTML humor
Photo from neatorama.com
Don’t get it? Well, most Web sites are programmed with hyper text markup language (HTML) and the top of each page is called a “head” and. . . . It’s a geek thing.
Mr. Manners on . . .
Mr. Manners makes gentle suggestions for driving, emailing, being a good neighbor, shopping and polite conversation.
• Click here
Writing with Humor at Taylor University
I’ll be teaching a course on “Writing with Humor” at Taylor University Fort Wayne Saturdays February 14, March 14, April 18 and May 9. Click for syllabus; call 800.233.3922 for details and registration.
Best late-night lines of the week
Craig Ferguson
• There’s a new study out that says too much caffeine can cause hallucinations. I think it’s true because I was at Starbucks today, and I hallucinated that a cup of coffee cost $4.
Jay Leno
• All across the country, unemployment offices are swamped with people waiting to file for unemployment insurance. It’s gotten so bad, the offices are overwhelmed and they can’t even function. I have an idea: Why don’t you hire more people?
• Obama says that he wants to bring a “sense of accountability” to Washington. I have a better idea — why not bring some accountants to Washington?
David Letterman
• Freezing cold today. So cold, Bernie Madoff had his hands in his own pockets. So cold, people were throwing shoes at Al Gore.
Final touches
Thought for the week
He is a [sane] man who can have tragedy in his heart and comedy in his head.
G. K. Chesterton
• Click for more encouraging quips and quotes.
More light touches
• Church humor from Rev.
• The Dredge Report (Humor page)
• Top ten lists
Have a great weekl! (And come back next Monday for more “heavy topics with a light touch.”)
4 Comments
January 19, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Hey, Jim. A little while back you introduced your new agent listing program. (I can’t find the link anymore). In any event, as an apiring writer, I would love to read a post on the pros and cons of using a literary agent.
Thanks for your blog. I am learning and laughing. A great combination.
January 19, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Christian? No, not by belief or behavior. He is polite, and John Wesley
told us all about politeness – it doesn’t equal holiness.
Pray for Nero, but do not trust him. He is, after all, NERO. That’s who the apostle Paul was having to pray for in his lifetime, remember.
January 20, 2009 at 10:43 am
From the Time magazine website, Aug. 7, 2008
From Time magazine website http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1830148-2,00.html BARACK OBAMA: Changing Hearts and MindsI began my Christian journey over 20 years ago, as a young man fresh out of college. And since that time I’ve been serious not only about deepening my relationship with Christ but also about the way that all Americans can live together in our diverse, pluralistic society. I think there are some lessons that Americans from all political persuasions might learn in this regard, lessons that I take to heart each day. We have to start by remembering the role that values play in addressing some of our most urgent social problems. As I’ve said many times, the problems of poverty and war, the uninsured and the unemployed aren’t simply technical problems in search of a 10-point plan. They’re rooted in societal indifference and individual callousness — in the imperfections of man. For example, I believe in tough law enforcement and commonsense gun laws to keep our children safe from an epidemic of violence. But I also believe that when a gangbanger shoots indiscriminately into a crowd because he feels somebody disrespected him, that’s not just a government problem — it’s a moral problem. There’s a hole in that young man’s heart. Solving problems like this will require changes in government policy, but it will also require a change in hearts and a change in minds. That’s a lesson that friends of mine like Pastor Rick Warren and Bishop T.D. Jakes know well. I also think we must remember that there are a range of moral-values issues that must be addressed in our families, our communities and our government. My values speak to the 47 million Americans suffering without health care, the care of soldiers and civilians in Iraq and veterans back home, the expanse of God’s creation that is warming day by day, the single mothers struggling to provide for their families and the fathers who are too often absent from the scene. I don’t believe we should ignore the debate over traditional “values issues” at the expense of these other moral challenges. But we can’t just talk about “family values.” We actually have to stand up for policies that value families. I hope we’ll get into these tough topics and others at Saddleback. The next President will have to lead Americans of all religious and secular backgrounds and will navigate a range of tough values issues. I would be honored to have that weighty opportunity, and I hope to continue this conversation in the months to come.
January 22, 2009 at 3:49 pm
When President Obama says he doesn’t believe anyone is going to hell, he could be a Seventh Day Adventist as much as a Universalist. I discovered during a sojourn in WV a few years ago that Seventh Day Adventists believe those who are not found worthy at the final judgment will simply die, permanently, never to enter the ultimate fellowship with our Creator. That makes perfect sense to me. What kind of warped sadist would keep souls burning in a lake of fire forever, listening to them wail and moan? Its a very human sort of thing to imagine. At any rate, a Wisconsin Synod Lutheran pastor, whose church I could not join but often visit, told me that one can be part of the “holy Christian church” without subscribing to every tenet of his or any other denomination. (Some of us still say holy catholic church, small c.) There is no evidence excluding Barack Obama from that level of fellowship.
Which brings us to A La Carte Christianity. That is my approach to faith. John Wycliffe taught that we have no earthly spiritual overlord, its all a direct relationship with God, mediated, if at all, by Jesus, to the extent you distinguish between Jesus and God, which I don’t. I’m a non-militant unitarian, but not a Unitarian. There is no denominational governing body, Roman or Protestant, Nestorian, Greek or Coptic, which can tell me what is God’s Truth. I have to accept Scripture, which was also Wycliffe’s teaching, but every translation is different, and Jewish rabbis who have studied the original Hebrew tell me all European translations are wrong, including the Greek. So I have to read it, and draw conclusions, for myself. I appreciate those who do practice the doctrine of their own denomination rigorously, because without that, there would be no smorgasbord for me to choose from. I accept what the Adventists teach about final judgment, but I don’t want to wash everyone’s feet before communion. I appreciate what Jehovah’s Witnesses teach about the Trinity and the Pledge of Allegiance, but not much else. I have nothing against Catholic Humanism, but I deny the authority of the Bishop of Rome. When we find out what God really had in mind, we will all be surprised.