Bad news for us; great news for Dad. As of Monday, November 29, 7:20 am he’s enjoying God’s presence in heaven. Thanks for you prayers!
Here are the arrangements for Dad if you live nearby:
Visitation
Wednesday 2-4, 6-8 pm
Farley-Estes & Dowdle Funeral Home
105 Capital Ave. NE
Battle Creek, MI
(800) 962-5527
Funeral
Thursday 11:30 am
Farley-Estes & Dowdle Funeral Home
Thanks for your prayers for my Dad and family. We just found out last week he has bladder cancer which has spread to his spine and ribs. He is so frail (just 112 pounds) that no treatments (chemo, surgery, radiation) would be effective.
Mom is recovering from a broken hip in the same rehab facility as my Dad. You can send a note or card to Mom and Dad at:
Donald and Barbara Watkins
The Oaks at NorthPointe Woods
706 North Avenue
Battle Creek , MI 49017
The graph looks like a “black diamond” ski slope! Is it the stock market? New home sales? Network news viewers? Nope, it tracks the number of visitors to my blog since April of 2008. Here are three possible reasons:
1. Much of the loss in traffic came from the demise of GospelCom of which I was a member. The popular portal brought in a whole traffic jam of visitors to jameswatkins.com.
2. My recent—and totally unscientific—survey revealed that people enjoy “Hope and Humor,” but are just too busy to visit regularly. And since I began my site in April 1997, the number of sites worldwide has grown exponentially to nearly 30 billion sites. That’s a lot of competition for people’s time and attention.
3. The vast majority of my traffic (74 percent) is now coming from search engines, which supports my theory that people have become searchers of information rather than followers of particular authors. (I have nearly 1,200 Facebook friends—love you all—but only 3 percent of visits to jameswatkins.com come from links posted there. A fraction of a percent of visits come from my Twitter links.)
Visits to the 200-plus pages on my site have also declined, but at more of a “bunny slope” than a deadly drop. And so, with the encouragement of Jeanette’s post, it’s time to “grow brave,” shoot the horse (although I’m sure she wasn’t suggesting that!) and “attempt greater feats” with a better return for my effort than blogging. Honestly, at this point, I have no clue what that “something” is, so thanks for your prayers for wisdom and creativity.
I’ll continue to archive articles, book excerpts, comedy/drama, humor and original videos on this site, but will no longer regularly blog. So, starting Wednesday, September 1, the home page, which was used as a blog for the past several years, will become an index of pages arranged by categories. Click for a sneak preview.
And I’ll continue to keep in touch on Facebook and Twitter as well as posting an occasional new article or book excerpt at jameswatkins.com/newstuff.
Here’s what new at Hope & Humor during this month of love:
Coincidences or ‘God-incidences’?
“The first girl you meet when you return to Marion College will become your wife.”
No, this wasn’t the prediction of a fortune teller or a 900-number “psychic friend.” My pastor’s wife was trying to console me after a break-up of an engagement and the feeling that I’d never, ever find true love.
[More]
Moi circa 20th b’day
Here’s what’s new at HOPE & HUMOR:
Top ten birthday wishes
I have in my wrinkled right hand, direct from the home office in Corn Borer, Indiana, today’s top ten wishes for what’s left of my life.
10. I will not obsess about my cholesterol level, the cost of prescriptions, or the condition of my colon. Social security rip-offs, conspiracy theories, government corruption, and “that horrible noise they call modern music” are also off limits during the Early Bird dinner hour at Denny’s.
More
The Secret Life of Editors
A fun interview with Joanne “OneSoBlessed” Kraft’s blog:
Click here
The Olympics: office events
While the world’s attention is focused on skiiers, skaters and Lindsey Vonn’s Sports Illustrated’s photo spread, unsung heroes are overcoming Olympic challenges in offices and factories closer to home.
10-mile Commute and 100-Yard Hurdles: Employees (who have just raced through rush hour traffic on slippery roads), must now jump ten snow-covered parking bumpers, three UPS boxes, and a “Caution: Wet Floor” sign to arrive at their desk on time.
More
Looking for love in all the right places
Many people spend their lives, as the old song goes, “Lookin’ for love in all the wrong places.” So, how do we find real, lasting love?
More
Inside this week’s issue
Heavy topics
• Everybody loves Raymond—and Barack
• Bible banned at school during “Religious Freedom Day”
• Keith Drury: What’s wrong with the church?
• The weight adventure: week 3
Light touch
• Barbie turns big 5-0: exclusive interview
• Do guys really think about sex every seven seconds?
• Top ten Super Bowl commercials
• “Writing with Humor” at Taylor University
• Best late-night lines of the week
Everybody loves Raymond—and Barack
To paraphrase the hit CBS sitcom from a few seasons back, “Everybody Loves Barack.” (According to Gallup polls, the brand-new president has a 68 percent approval rating his first week in office. Only John F. Kennedy has had higher.) And that concerns me!
1. The media loves Barack
A late-night comic quipped that MSNBC was the “Obama for President Headquarters.” The media is supposed to be a suspicious, cynical group of curmudgeons—and it performed its role with great enthusiasm during the George Bush administration. The media has traditionally been the fourth “checks and balances” component in government, but the unabashed gushing over the new president concerns me.
2. Congress loves Barack
I can’t believe that Obama’s choice for Treasury Secretary, Timothy F. Geithner, failed to pay more than $34,000 in federal taxes over several years while facing questions about the employment papers of a former household employee—and is still being considered by the Senate panel! Whether it was intentional or an honest oversight, it still seems grounds for disqualification, and that concerns me.
3. Pro-abortionists love Barack
The new president is probably the most anti-life president with his support for abortion, partial-birth-abortion and embryonic stem cell research. Here are my grave concerns.
4. Gay rights activists love Barack
And the new president apparently loves them. On the official White House Web site (www.whitehouse.gov), there are several items listed under “Support for the GLBT Community” including adding sexual orientaton as employment discrimination and expansion of hate-crime legislation. Conservative church gorups and Christian organizations are concerned that they would a) have to hire openly gay people for ministry positions and b) that speaking out against what they believe is immoral behavior would be considered a hate crime. (Click for my thoughts on hate crimes.)
5. Church leaders love Barack
It’s not suprising that so-called “liberal” church leaders love Barack, but “conservative” Rick Warren has walked through the moral mine field of hosting both Obama and John McCain at his church, inviting Obama to his AIDS summit, and praying at the inauguration, while still voicing disagreement with Obama’s pro-abortion stance. The suspicious, cynical journalist in me suspects Rick Warren is being used by Obama simply to appeal to Christian conservatives, just as Republicans have used them in the past.
6. The world loves Barack
I do appreciate Obama’s less confrontational and combative tone when it comes to international relations. Christians are taught to pray for peace. But in my darker moments—God forgive me—I think He’d make a great anti-Christ.
7. I love Barack
Barack Obama is charming, witty, gracious, thoughtful and articulate. I really love him as a person. But I’m deeply concerned when anyone is so likable. (Okay, there’s that cynical, suspicious curmudgeon journalist in me coming out again.) I’ve met too many likable people who turned into monsters when they finally married the girl, took over power, or some crisis revealed the real person beneath the facade. (I hope his recent snub of Republican legislators with, “I won,” doesn’t confirm my concerns.)
Barack Obama took office in what resembled a Woodstock love-in, but love can be blind! So, I pray for the new president—and the media, the congress, the church and ordinary citizens.
Bible banned at school during “Religious Freedom
Day”
Can you say ironic?
According to ChristianPost.com, “A Southwest Florida man who in past years has been allowed to distribute free Bibles to high school students on Religious Freedom Day was turned down this year by the district’s superintendent.” The article didn’t say if Korans or other religious material were banned as well.
Keith Drury: What’s wrong with the church?
The always insightful—and occasionally inciteful—Keith Drury lists nine things he feels are wrong with today’s church. I’ve got to agree with all nine! Plus, he asks, “Might Barak Obama help deliver Evangelicals from a tendency toward civil religion?”
• What’s wrong with the church?
• The blessing of Barack
The weight adventure: week 3
Inspired by The Biggest Loser, my daughter and I are competing with a group of Facebook friends to shed some weight, so to be accountable, I’ll be posting my percentages each week. This week—sound of scale beeping, dramatic pause, closeup of Jim gasping—+1.5 percent! Below the yellow line and back on the treadmill.
Barbie turns big 5-0
Fifty years ago this coming March, Barbie Millicent Roberts emerged from her bright pink box to become the most popular—and at times controversial—doll in the civilized world.
But this investigative humor columnist has discovered gloom beneath the glamour of Mattel’s money-making miss.
Wearing faded jeans and a T-shirt, Barbie confided, “I’m just so tired of being dolled up all the time. The whole Barbie image is just so plastic.”
Cindy Crawford downs a Diet Pepsi in classic Super Bowl ad
Do guys really think about sex every seven seconds?
Where do women get these ideas?! Probably the same source that tells them if they turn the thermostat to 90 the room will heat faster. Or maybe it’s from watching Super Bowl ads. (See pic above and text below.)
According to the folks at snopes.com, the “seven-second rule is pure fiction.” Alfred Kinsey’s research revealed 97% of men thought about sex between a few times a day and a few times per month, with 54% falling into the daily category.
• The scoop at snopes
• Love, marriage and incredible sex (my “adult” site for adults)
Top ten Super Bowl commercials
Guys probably think about sports more than sex—if you believe the Super Bowl hype. Me? I watch it for the commercials. So, if you’re like me—and that’s a frightening prospect—here are . . .
• ESPN’s top ten picks
• Metromix’s top ten
• MSNBC’s top ten
Writing with Humor at Taylor University
I’ll be teaching a course on “Writing with Humor” at Taylor University Fort Wayne Saturdays February 14, March 14, April 18 and May 9. Click for syllabus; call 800.233.3922 for details and registration.
Best late-night lines of the week
Craig Ferguson
• Oscar nominations came out today. “Benjamin Button” got 13. That’s as many as people who have actually seen the movie.
Jimmy Kimmel
• After 10 inaugural balls, Obama was up and in the office at 8:30 this morning, and then he went to church. Is it a good sign that after one hour of being president he decided the best thing he could do for the country was pray?
Jay Leno
• Barack Obama said his first act as president will be to pardon Aretha Franklin’s hat.
David Letterman
• In “Top Ten Signs Obama’s Getting Nervous,” 4. Offered Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich, $100,000 to buy his old Senate seat back.
John Stewart
• ChangeFest 2009: There’s no change! video
Final touches
Thought for the week
If people are kicking you in the behind, at least you’re in front of them. Billy Graham
• Click for more encouraging quips and quotes.
More light touches
• Church humor from Rev.
• The Dredge Report (Humor page)
• Top ten lists
Have a great weekl! (And come back next Monday for more “heavy topics with a light touch.”)
The “dream” passed on!
Inside this week’s issue
Breaking news: Tuesday 3:30 pm
• Lois and I just received word that our $40,000+ hospital bill was forgiven! (This summer, she had an unexpected hysterectomy and I had radiation treatments for cancer.) “Thank you, Father!”
Heavy topics
• Hi, I’m Jim. I’m prejudiced
• Jesus on racial, gender, religious and social prejudices
• Top ten signs you might be prejudiced
• Life is a civil right
• Top ten things President Bush is doing on his last day in office
• Is President-elect Obama a Christian?
• Ala carte Christianity
• The weight adventure: week 2
• Twenty worst foods in America
Light touch
• HTML humor
• Mr. Manners on . . .
• “Writing with Humor” at Taylor University
• Best late-night lines of the week
Hi, I’m Jim. I’m prejudiced.
Like members of Alcholics Anonymous, we all need to be incredibly honest and announce, “Hi, I’m [fill in your name]. I’m prejudiced.”
Me? I’m prejudice against people who are prejudiced. I’m prejudiced against people who don’t view women as equals. And I’m prejudiced against Pepsi. (If I ask for a Diet Coke in a restaurant, no tip for you if you try to subsitute a Diet Pepsi!)
But the most intolerant people I’ve ever met are members of the PC police who, while claiming to be tolerant, are totally intolerant against anyone they view as not tolerant. (And, as I’ve written, intolerance is not always a bad thing.) The important thing is to be honest, admit there are areas in which we’re prejudiced, discern if they are good, bad or neutral, and then deal with them.
So . . .
• Jesus on racial, gender, religious and social prejudices
• Top ten signs you might be prejudice
• Life is a civil rights issue
Top ten things President Bush is doing on last day in office
10. Making last free long-distance calls on the hot line
9. Packing up new $492,798 china set (actually it stays with the House)
8. Filling out all those change of address cards
7. Making prank calls to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Kim Jong Il and Nancy Pelosi
6. Working on his “Funniest Bloopers” compilation (click for clip)
5. Packing up Iraqi shoe collection
4. Sicking Barney on reporters
3. Joy-riding in Air Force One
2. Having one last romp in Lincoln Bedroom
1. Leaving legacy at the curb
No matter what your political persuasion, you’ve got to feel some amount of compassion for a president whose name will forever be synonymous with the Iraq War, Hurricane Katrina and the economic recession. As The Onion reported the day after the election, “Black man gets worst job in America.”
So, my thoughts and prayers are with the human being who is probably having a tough day. I hate moving!
And my thoughts and prayers are with Barack Obama as he does assume the “worst job in America.” “Father, give him wisdom and courage to do what is pleasing to You.” Which brings us to . . .
Is President-elect Obama a Christian?
During the US presidential campaign, I ran excerpts from a 2004 interview in which, then Senate-candidate, Barack Obama discussed his faith. (Plus, I’ll throw in a freebie which was one of my top ten pages in 2008.)
• Are presidential candidates “Christian”?
• Were Founding Fathers Christian?
Ala carte Christianity
And, speaking of America’s faith, a new report from The Barna Group reveals “Americans are increasingly comfortable picking and choosing what they deem to be helpful and accurate theological views and have become comfortable discarding the rest of the teachings in the Bible.”
The survery of 1,004 adults reveals “people who consider themselves to be Christian now believe that the Bible is totally accurate in all of the lessons it teaches at the same time that they believe Jesus Christ sinned. Millions also contend that they will experience eternal salvation because they confessed their sins and accepted Christ as their savior, but also believe that a person can do enough good works to earn eternal salvation.”
According to the findings, Americans no longer accept the doctrines and beliefs of their church or denomination, but “serve as their own theologian-in-residence . . . embracing an unpredictable and contradictory body of beliefs.” And speaking of unhealthy eating . . .
The weight adventure: week 2
Inspired by The Biggest Loser, my daughter and I are competing with a group of Facebook friends to shed some weight, so to be accountable, I’ll be posting my pounds lost each week. This week—sound of scale beeping, dramatic pause—two pounds! (That despite a weekend getaway to Essenhaus!)
Twenty worst foods in America
A great list of the best and worst entrees at restaurants. For instance, Blimpie’s Veggie Supreme (12″) packs on 1,106 calories, 56 g fat (33 g saturated fat), 2,831 mg sodium and 96 g carbohydrates! You’d be better off eating two Big Macs.
• Eat this, not this
HTML humor
Photo from neatorama.com
Don’t get it? Well, most Web sites are programmed with hyper text markup language (HTML) and the top of each page is called a “head” and. . . . It’s a geek thing.
Mr. Manners on . . .
Mr. Manners makes gentle suggestions for driving, emailing, being a good neighbor, shopping and polite conversation.
• Click here
Writing with Humor at Taylor University
I’ll be teaching a course on “Writing with Humor” at Taylor University Fort Wayne Saturdays February 14, March 14, April 18 and May 9. Click for syllabus; call 800.233.3922 for details and registration.
Best late-night lines of the week
Craig Ferguson
• There’s a new study out that says too much caffeine can cause hallucinations. I think it’s true because I was at Starbucks today, and I hallucinated that a cup of coffee cost $4.
Jay Leno
• All across the country, unemployment offices are swamped with people waiting to file for unemployment insurance. It’s gotten so bad, the offices are overwhelmed and they can’t even function. I have an idea: Why don’t you hire more people?
• Obama says that he wants to bring a “sense of accountability” to Washington. I have a better idea — why not bring some accountants to Washington?
David Letterman
• Freezing cold today. So cold, Bernie Madoff had his hands in his own pockets. So cold, people were throwing shoes at Al Gore.
Final touches
Thought for the week
He is a [sane] man who can have tragedy in his heart and comedy in his head.
G. K. Chesterton
• Click for more encouraging quips and quotes.
More light touches
• Church humor from Rev.
• The Dredge Report (Humor page)
• Top ten lists
Have a great weekl! (And come back next Monday for more “heavy topics with a light touch.”)
I trust you had a meaningful Christmas! But it’s not simply a one-day event. Click for Celebrating Christmas 365 days a year.
And come back New Years Day for a whole new look and attitude here.
A classic Pink Floyd song (yep, I grew up in paisley shirts and bellbottoms) asks:
Do you think that I know something you don’t know
What do you want from me?
If I don’t promise you the answers would you go
What do you want from me?
So, I’ve been thinking, what do you want from this blog? How can I best serve you? Will Nehru jackets ever come back in style? Thanks for taking this survey. Your answers will help steer the direction and discussion here in 2009.
P.S.
Thanks for your kind and compassionate comments! And for those who wrote that they don’t always agree with me, no problem. I don’t always agree with me!
“Encouragement” and “Humor” are definitely the top vote getters in my totally unscientific poll. I do need to stress more humor in my blog, but—to be honest—the past six years have sucked like a Craftsman 5 HP shop vac: career catastrophies, financial failures, physical challenges, family crises, etc.
So, on my blog in 2009, I’m resolving to drown out life’s 5 HP sucking sound with encouraging laughter. Vrooom! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Our favorite son, Paul, is developing a graphics design business, so proud Dad is pleased to show you what he can do with a scruffy faced little girl through the magic of PhotoShop.
Visit Paul’s portfolio for more examples of photo retouching, gradphic design and flash animation.
